On Being Bold: Bold Moves March

I’ve mentioned the beauty of being present and mindful, but I haven’t mentioned the beauty of being bold.   This is an important category to explore, especially for single ladies who are dating around at present like myself.

My friend Haley and I discussed her plan with a friend to act on “Bold Moves February,” but there’s something about cold weather and a lack of alliteration that made that less-than-appealing.  However, we both decided that Bold Moves March would be our thing, and as March is now over I thought I would report on our success.

The intent of Bold Moves March (BMM) was for us, as single ladies, to put ourselves “out there” in a way that would allow us to meet friends and acquaintances in a more efficient and interesting manner than usual.  The results of BMM for me were: meeting a good study buddy/friend connection to a whole additional group of friends with whom to spend time, meeting a man-friend with whom I had an amazing time but who, unfortunately, moved temporarily to Argentina, and spending a lot of time with the aforementioned Haley and building a wonderful friendship with her.

Every attitude worth cultivating requires practice and strengthening.  Building frugality muscles requires discipline and dedication, and the same goes for boldness muscles.   Walking up to an unknown person in a crowded bar can be difficult, but mastering this skill will make you more comfortable approaching someone in a tame coffee shop situation.  Becoming bold requires effort and risk, but results in increasing your ability to meet people and strike up meaningful conversations in unlikely scenarios.  Here are a couple of things I have learned from BMM: the vast majority of the time, when you approach someone new to start a conversation, they will be receptive to your effort and will relish the opportunity to get to know you.  In situations where this is not the case, you will have a sense of bravery and will feel stronger for the attempt despite any small rejection.

My mindfulness practice has allowed me to contemplate the ever-changing nature of everything.  I’m specifically aware of the transient nature of the wonderful relationships I’ve formed so far in graduate school.  Many of these people will move away, and even if they don’t, our relationships after graduation are likely to change significantly.  I’ve been overcome with acceptance of this fact, but have noted that it is difficult to meet people in Minneapolis without some sort of group membership.  Boldness can help ease the fear of changing relationship dynamics.  When you are bold, you know that you can meet people in all situations, and you can be brave and intrepid on your own.

Despite the end of the beautifully alliterative Bold Moves March, as we parted ways on our bikes tonight Haley and I yelled at each other “Bolder Moves April!” and “Boldest Moves May!”  I hope to continue my boldness indefinitely, and to strengthen my boldness muscle to a point where I feel no shyness talking to any strangers anywhere.